Jay Murray,
Age 28

I’m surprised I made it out of North Philadelphia. It’s a hell of a neighborhood. You’re daily walk from home to school you’re either getting rode on by 20 other guys or hit with all types of weapons, robbed. Luckily back then there weren’t too many guns. Luckily! It was a massacre. In school there was a million bullies. After school, they would want to fight. Total chaos. You really couldn’t come outside once you came home. If you was coming outside, you would have to be a part of the drama. It was a kill or be killed environment. So I basically stayed in and study. That’s how I got as smart as I am. So I guess I missed my childhood. I stayed in the house all the time.

I went to William Penn High School and I got kicked out of there. Went to Frankford High School. Got kicked out of there. Just the behavior I had already set in from the neighborhood. You have to adapt to survive. You can’t be polite. You can’t have a great personality coming from a neighborhood like that. And you can’t be outgoing. You can’t be friendly. So I shut all that down. So when I finally got into the high school ranks, I lashed out and I suffered consequences. Everything started crumbling, when I got kicked out of high school. I came to jail and got my GED.

I was around 18-19. It wasn’t even for something I did. I didn’t want to open my mouth on a friend. I was a passenger in a car. He had 2 guns in the car with some cocaine. The cops surrounded the car. I was the only one in it, laying in the passenger side. I plead guilty because I was scared. I took a plea bargain. From that moment on I kept getting locked up on violations. I could never walk off the probation. I would always get in trouble again, violate probation. Get in trouble again, violate probation. Now I’m here now, violated probation. Smoke weed. That’s all I do. I’m not a criminal. I smoke.

Being as that I do smoke weed, I don’t even go see probation officers because they test you. Why would I go if I’m smoking weed? So it’s my rebellious state of mind. I’ve got to learn how to find a new way to think, especially to be successful when I get out. I’ve learned to deal with it in here. I’m older and I’m mature now. So I think I’ve got it down pat. I just had a newborn 3 months ago. Finally got a house. So I’m realizing that my consequences affect my family now, not just me.