Shepard Jenkins,
Age 42

I went to Roxborough High School to tenth grade, but I’m getting my GED. Most of my life I was in North Philly. Rough, real rough. I mean killings, beating up, race, burglaries. I grew up in a bad neighborhood, 17th and Jefferson. I know a lot of people that didn’t make it. I know a lot of people that’s in jail now for the rest of their life. It’s not the neighborhood. It’s the people that was in the neighborhood.

I couldn’t find a job. So that’s when I started deciding that I wanted to be a drug dealer. Selling drugs led to doing drugs. Doing drugs led to me doing crime. It took me where I didn’t want to go. I was 18,1983, the first time I went to jail. I didn’t like it then, and I don’t like it now. Burglary was my first charge. The second time was in ’91. I did a year. They caught drugs on me. I wasn’t selling them, I was doing them myself. And 2000, I did 2 years. That was because they caught drugs on me, big drugs on me.

When I was coming up I didn’t have nobody to show me the love that I’ve been showed today. I believe if I had somebody in my corner to show me that kind of love, I wouldn’t be in the predicament that I wind up in. I was going through things, emotional, as far as my mother, my father. I try not to dwell on it, because if I dwell on it, I never get anywhere. My mother, she never had time for us; at least for me. I rebelled against that. I love my mother. It’s just that I didn’t like that she wasn’t there for me. I try not to like be bothered with it, because it’s still hard. You know… I really don’t know how my mother feel about me, to be honest. So I’d rather just like not even think about it. It’s like if I talk to her, fine. If I don’t, fine. I seen her on Thanksgiving. Me and my fiancé had something to eat, but didn’t stay long; for one, because I’m on house arrest. But the real reason I didn’t stay long because anything longer than an hour over there with my mother is like chaotic and I don’t like that feeling.

I just got out from doing 14 months. The only reason I did that 14 months is because my daughters were raped and abused. The guy that raped my daughter, they charged me with aggravated assault on him. Going to jail this time made me more emotional than any other time I went to jail. When I say emotional, it made me like I have a conscience today. I care about everybody else feelings. I’m not trying to hurt anybody today. And if I wouldn’t have went to jail this time, I would never met my fiancé. When my sister came up to visit me, she brought her best friend, Janine, up to see me. From that point on me and Janine been conversating. She’s been in my corner. She keeps me in line. I’m not ashamed to say that, and I like that. We’re getting married. I can’t wait. And today, I have my five kids back in my life today. I’m just so blessed today that I don’t have to worry about who I owe money to or who I’m going to rob or stick up to get some drugs. I don’t have to live like that today. I feel good. I actually feel that I have a life.

I have so much support behind me I know without a doubt that if I go back out there on drugs or go back to jail, I’m going to lose everything that I worked hard for. That means the house, the cars, the trucks, most of all my family.